Feather Dusters
by AlternateAnything
Summary: cross dressing AU Kabuto's a nurse out of luck, and out of work. So when he's offered a job serving as Orochimaru's maid, no matter how demeaning the uniform, he takes it.TO BE REPLACED. DISCONTINUED.


**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto**

Kabuto sighed and his shoulders drooped as he pressed the doorbell _again. _His eyes went over the flyer in his hands and he pushed his glasses back up his nose. The details for the Help wanted sign were so vague he almost didn't want to even try for the job, but at that point, he was desperate. He needed a job. All the hospitals in the area were full, they had more employees than they wanted as is. He knew he should have gotten a job as a doctor, but _no, _ he picked being a nurse. Now, now he couldn't even find a job as a private nurse. All the requirements were things like cleaning and 'social skills'.

He had little social skills but—what was the guy's name?—Sannin (A/N: He doesn't have a last name!) Orochimaru didn't need to know that. He couldn't believe the size of the house—mansion and his gut told him the guy probably wanted a butler. Kami, he didn't want to be a butler, but he _was _desperate. Just as he was about the ring the doorbell, the door opened to reveal a pink haired girl opened the door and glared at him. Her eyes went up and down his body, the mirth underneath the intimidation wasn't heavily concealed.

"Who the fuck are you?" She spat, and Kabuto internally winced.

"Ano, Yakushi Kabuto, I'm here for the," He showed her the poster. "The job?"

He almost sighed at the infliction to the last word that made it sound more like a question than the answer to a question. She smirked.

"Eh?" She nodded and stepped back, absentmindedly waving him in. "The name's Tayuya."

"Nice to meet you." He lied through his teeth but she didn't care.

"I'm one of Orochimaru-sama's bodyguards." She informed him closing the heavy door behind them. "He left me and Kidomaru here to welcome any applicants for the job." She rolled her eyes as she led him through the prettily ornamented smooth marble walls. "You wouldn't believe the fucking nutcases we get. Some people are just so pathetically eager to get a job with a legendary Sannin." She glanced pointedly at him, but he ignored her. "We even got fucking girls!—Girls! The flyer specifically asked for a man," Another glance to Kabuto, "Or boy,"

"I can't believe a woman with want to be a butler."

Suddenly, for no reason, she began laughing at him, and then he asked perplexed, "Wait a minute, legendary Sannin? Who're they?"

For a minute, she halted in her steps and her laughter stopped. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yes," He hissed, pushing his glasses farther up his nose and she smirked back.

"Well, I now dislike you a little less, hime." She picked up her pace before he could yell at her. "Anyhow," Tayuya stopped at a pair of doors and pushed them open, stepping in before him. "Welcome to Orochimaru-sama's private study,"

The room was filled with darkly toned wooden furniture and wide shelves full of heavy looking books. Sitting on a chaise near a corner was a tan, round nosed man with a pony tail reading a book on it. He glanced up when he saw the pair enter before quickly looking down again and Tayuya abandoned Kabuto in favor of sitting next to him, and look intimidating together. Then, in the middle of the room were two brunettes whispering together and Kabuto decided to sit across from them.

They looked up at him before deciding to ignore him and went back to whispering amongst one another. When his muscles relaxed onto the couch, he realized just how tired he was and slowly he felt his eyes closing and—

* * *

"Are you sleeping?" He jumped up and dug his back into the sofa when he saw a pair of snake eyes gazing back at him.

He screamed, not a girly scream, of course, and the pale man snickered, straightening up and giving Kabuto some space. "So glad you came, or else I might not have gotten a maid today."

"Nani?" He pushed up his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I must be hearing things. Did you just say _maid?"_

His smirk widened. "Tayuya, you didn't tell him?"

"Figured it'd be a surprise, boss." He could hear her grin. "Ain't it the shit?"

"Sakon, Tayuya, take hime-chan to his quarters." He instructed and walked towards his desk.

"Nani?" Kabuto yawned.

* * *

Kabuto twitched uncontrollably as Tayuya and the pale, white haired boy laughed at him and he hated the world. He hated the black mini skirt that barely covered his ass, with two inches of fish net from the tutu underneath sticking out of it. He hated the white apron, the black bustier, the fish net stockings and black heeled boots that only came halfway up his calves. The white lace headband, black velvet choker with a gaudy, amethyst gem stuck in the middle around his neck, and his long white hair let down from his ponytail and going down below his midback only made them cackle louder. He so would have been gone if he didn't need the money, and one of the benefits of the job was room and board.

"K-Ka," Sakon cleared his throat. "Kabuto, you look beautiful."

"Yeah, hime-chan, you look completely fuckable!" Tayuya cackled as she tossed a feather duster at him.

"Shut up," He muttered under his breath. "Just shut up and die,"

"Come on, hime-chan," She dragged him out by his arm. "Orochimaru-sama wants to see you clean, to make sure you're—ano—skilled."

"Whatever," He murmured under his breath and let them lead him away.

* * *

Orochimaru was out of his suit when Kabuto entered the room, and he grinned slyly as his eyes slowly slid down Kabuto's body, who gripped the hand rag, feather duster and cleaning spray in his arms before dropping them on the floor in front of the fireplace, sighing and then he began to clean. He sighed and dropped onto his hands and knees to scrub a coffee table, aware of the eyes on his back and hating their owner. It was _his _fault that Kabuto had to wear the French maid outfit. He decided that he wanted to be a maid even less than he wanted to be a butler.

"Shit!" Orochimaru gasped, and Kabuto ignored him, completely oblivious to the fact that he was flashing Orochimaru his ass and the lacy purple thong that came with the French maid outfit.

He rose onto his feet and sauntered through the room, dusting and scrubbing the whole thing until just when he was ready to give up, "Okay, Kabuto, you get the job."

"Arigato," He managed to say, before fainting into the chair behind him.


End file.
